An Invitation Only Party

Well, first of all folks, in spite of what your pessimistic imagination might be leading you to believe, the aliens were invited to land on the lawn of our spectacular White House. You may be asking, “Why in the world would we ever want aliens landing on the lawn of the White House?” Well, ‘why in the world’ doesn’t really apply here, now does it? After our world’s satellites picked up some odd frequencies that were eventually determined as coming from the source of a spaceship just outside our galaxy, we were forced to think in terms much bigger than just our world. Of course, when news of this discovery leaked to the public, it was absolute mayhem. Were the aliens good or bad? Was it the end of the world? We must annihilate them!  How can I up my chances of being abducted!? While the world’s science fiction lovers rejoiced, and while everyone else cried for mercy, government officials and scientists all around the world were working hard to decipher the cryptic codes that that the aliens were sending down to earth. And after long hours of trials and tribulations, one clear message was deduced: “We come in peace.”

After sharing dialogue with the aliens for a little over a year, we had gained enough evidence to be sure that they were of no threat to us. The aliens had been keeping a close eye on earthlings since long before electricity, automobiles, and Star Wars movies, and had decided that we as a human race were finally ready to be introduced to the aliens offerings of advanced technology and sources of fuel. All the aliens wanted to know was, “When can we land?” The world erupted in dispute over which nation should serve as a host family for these creatures. Well, I bet you can guess who wanted to be the first nation to create ties with a completely different species; we did! The United States government promptly sent in the proposal to the alien’s spacecraft, including the several reasons why we, The US, would be the best vacation spot for their visit to earth. China was our biggest competition in this matter – if we could win this battle over China, and all the other nations in the running, The United States would forever be a beacon of, not only just hope and freedom, but also for inter galactic relations! We would go down in history as the nation who became best friends with the aliens and who then shared the alien’s intelligence with the entire world. Thus, we were honored when the aliens RSVPed back to us with such enthusiasm!

We have prepared for two years for this event. Upon arriving, the alien commander will be welcomed and ushered right into the White House where the President and It will form some sort of ‘Alien to Human Bill of Rights’ that will be active for the duration of their visit. It is necessary that this happens immediately in order to preserve a state of earthly order. Upon receiving the alien’s reply that they chose American over any other nation, The United States has already seen a significant shift in international power in our favor. This is the best thing that has ever happened for our country.